Friday, April 22, 2011

Do you have a license for that baby?

I've always thought that people under the age of 80 should need a license to reproduce, and if they are unable to obtain one of these cards they should be forced on birth control or have their lady parts removed.. A little harsh, but I feel like alot of the world money problems would be solved, now im not a world leader or anything and i have no experience in politics. I mean, just look at half the girls getting pregnant today. America alone spends 6.9 BILLION dollars yearly to make sure these girls babies are fed and taken care of. 6.9 billion dollars. HOLY shit. So, our military was about to miss a paycheck because the government is in debt, yet little Sally, who doesnt work, was still receiving her food stamps and welfare checks. Way to go, America. That seems fair. I need to be president, yeah right.

Anyway, Im doing this blog upon request, the topic they wanted was "moms that party too much" and i realize i got off topic in the above paragraph, so I will get back on track to please my audience.

While I see so many mothers who are posting on facebook about "going out" this weekend, its really whatever to me, I take care of my nugget and if they dont, then they have to go to sleep at night (after downing a bottle of cheap vodka) with that on their concious. BUT it gets annoying and redundant when its the same girls over and over who are going out to bars and having to be carried out from being so piss drunk. Where is your child?! You said "Hello" to responsibility when you spread those vicious thighs, so how about we buck up young soldier and instead of posting how you love your child on facebook, you actually walk the walk and make some sacrifices that most of us do DAILY because we dont have family to push our kids on and we dont have mommys money to spend on alcohol. I guess what I'm trying to say is. Grow up.

I saw one of my mom facebook friends (i will not say names), but they even went as far to post a bottle of alcohol on their facebook and said something like her "night is good now that she had the bottle" or something like that. If that completes your night then I am sorry that your life is that empty and meaningless that alcohol completes it. GUH WHERE IS YOUR BABY LICENSE?!

As most of you know, i recently turned 21, and yes I went out, but last time I checked, that was my 6th time since chunk was born that I used a babysitter. Did I get wasted? Nope. I had my fair share of drinks but I knew in the back of my head that I had to wake up early and take care of chunk. So I cut myself off unlike any other newly 21 year old. Then we went home, put chunk in bed, and went to bed ourselves. Woke up the next day, no hangover + happy baby =happy mommy :)

Another thing that irks me, is that most of the teenage moms act as if they are the first person to experience a fussy baby or a shit-up-the-back diaper. SHUUUT UP. Such drama queens. All they do is whiiine whine about how tough their lives are... Uhhh sex can lead to making babies, unless you were raped then it was a choice, YOUR choice. Ever heard "dont be silly, wrap your willy" or "no ringy, no dingy"?? Obviously not.

Well my conclusion is QUIT AIRING YOUR BUSINESS OUT ON FACEBOOK! No on cares, everyone talks shit about the whiney moms, even the people without kids because they see most of us doing juuust fine and then theres those few who can shut up about how bad their kid is being so they cant clean their house, or that their baby wont stop screaming and just go to sleep, well get off facebook and go feed/rock/play with your kid! If theyre screaming as bad as you say they are, then somethings not right! GUH, i could go on this topic forever, but its lunch time, so i gotta wake up chunk and love every bit of being with him, even if he does enjoy occasionaly whipping ham from his sandwich at the back of my leg. ;)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

You got one of those baby genius's dont you?

Okay, so i've been super annoyed lately by people thinking their 1-3 month old's are smarter than a 5th grader. Well Im here with my own opinion and a few facts.

Oh, so your 5 week old is watching Mickey and getting into it eh? Babies eyes dont focus on things til they are 6-8 months and @ 2 months your baby cant distinguish colors. (google it). Sooo either I think youre enjoying the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or you're one of those show-off retarded parents, either way, no one cares..

Oh so now youre 5 month old waits for daddy to come home and screams DADA by the door exactly @ 4pm? Really? Your kid can tell time?? Tell them to teach my almost 20 month how to tell time so MAYBE that would kick his ass in gear and we could be more punctual to playdates. couldnt hurt, right? AND Your kid can say dada?! Oh wait, thats normal, because EVERYTHING is dada the floor, the dog, a banana even YOU are called dada. Baby ramblings, tends to happen, quit being stoopid.

Aww your baby didnt cry while sitting on Santa's lap? My kid must be a grade-A sissy then. Orrrr. your kid is 2 months old and has no idea what the eff is going on. Chunk hated Santa and the Easter bunny, probably because he's smart beyond his years and know that he's picking up a bad whiff of second hand smoke from the bunny, and santa smells like cheap whiskey. 

I just wish moms could be less annoying. Especially teenage moms. When did you become mom of the year? When you promised yourself you'd stop doing keg-stands after you were 4 months pregnant cause no one could pick your fatass up? Im all for reading about your childs development as long as you dont ramble about how smart your baby is. Its one thing to be proud, its another to be ignorant.

Well I shall sign out on that note. If you feel that any of these situations pertain to you, it might. I dont care. I only write about people who I have at least once had to block their status updates and pictures because they were THAT annoying. But time to go teach my chunk some long division so he can keep up with his younger generation;)

Before I retire for the night...

I decided to write in this "e-journal" yet again. I dont know why, but this blogging business is fun! Anyway, today was the same as every other day. Tony left for work, Chunk woke me up and 9am, Momma, awa(water), awa, momma. so we changed the peepee dipey and trotted our bootays downstairs. Got Chunk his awa, so I didnt get the silence treatment first thing in the a.m. WHAT a relief! Anywho, we danced around the playroom a.k.a my dining room which we have constructed into the playroom since military housing isnt huge (unless you have 2 kids, maybe ill pop out another chunk so we get the nice housing ;) juuuust kidding). Anyway, Chunk lined up his tater tots that he had for lunch on the carpet, and apparently that was the racetrack for his hotwheels. I wanted to be mad, but thats actually a pretty smart thing to do, so i let it slide. PLUS we have 2 fleabags that ate the racetrack, chunk was pissed, but justice was served.

Boner is playing video games as usual, some japanese ninja thing on the wii... I really wish he had a real hobby, like working out or cleaning ;). I hope chunk doesnt think its okay to play video games all day. I will kick his booty outside. Who am I kidding? When we go back to Indiana my dad will have him outside with 2 gloves and a baseball playing catch and doing batting practice against grandpa's garage like I used to back in the day. If it wasnt one sport, it was another, kept me in shape and out of trouble (most of the time), so I really cant complain. Life was good when I was a kid, sometimes I miss those days. I was always out in the yard playin football, pitching to my dad, playing tennis in the street with my dad (which ended up me chasing down the ball because we looked like a bunch of helen kellers out there). Gahh I miss home, Im sad that chunk is missing out on everything back there. Everyone would spoil the shit out of him (not that they already dont). But it was nice growing up in good old Indiana. ahh the memories....

Well Boner wants me to play kinect with him, Barf. But i will since ive been a bitch all day, and I guess he's entitled to it, or so he says. Whatever. Will post more tomorrow night. Night.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Well, I guess its now or never...

Well, here it is. As requested by a few people, I've started blogging. Facebook status's don't capture the crazy/hilarious/exciting things in my life. Most people might see this as an opportunity to creep my life, since my facebook is private, but whatever, at this point I dont even care. I used to get annoyed when people would request to be my friend whenever I had a big moment in life, such as: Getting married a month after I graduated high school, Moving to Hawaii, Getting pregnant, Having my baby, Then getting pregnant again, and then unfortunately miscarrying my second child. None of this is peoples business, but I guess I want to look past people just being nosey, and thinking that they care. One can wish I suppose.

While I am not one to show emotions of sadness or distress yet am one to be tough and laugh things off, I guess I want people to see me in a different light since I am only human. Here I will touch bases on the significant things in my life that i posted above:

On July 18, 2008, I married my best friend. The whole time leading up to getting married in the trashy Valpo courthouse, everyone was trying to talk me out of it. Don't people know that I am going to do what I want to do? Anyway, there's not much to speak on this subject, other than I married my knight in enchilada armor. VIVA LA MEXICO... (not really, though)

Next topic: Moving to Hawaii. At this point in my life, this was the biggest, most exciting change in my entire life. I got on United Airlines Flight 1 out of Chicago O'Hare Airport, and left everything I've ever knew behind. Saying goodbye to my parents and my sister was the hardest part. Not knowing when I would see them again was the thing that made me question my move. But I went through security and sat at the terminal waiting to board. At that time I knew that there was no turning back, because Bootz would have been pissed if he had to turn that 2008 Toyota Yaris around mid-freeway and pick my ass up. So, I sat there awkwardly pretending to look at my phone until the plane boarded. As I got on the plane I was literally freaking out. blah blah blah, a baby crying and a 30 minute nap later, I had arrived to the Honolulu International Airport. Im in my sweatpants and hoodie, sweating my chacha off. Tony picked me up and off to Makakilo we went! thats pretty much the long drawn out version. Needless to say, i had an awesome time until I got pregnant.

Fast Forward: Baby Making 101. Well while were weren't trying to have a baby, we definitely weren't preventing, as most girls from PHS can relate to my story in this way. Anyway, I felt like I was pregnant for 4 years. Puking at least 10 times a day, getting nice and fat. You know, the usual.

Giving birth to the CHUNKMAN!: Well I was due September 5, 2009, He didnt come until September 10, 2009. 5 days late, I cant complain. Labor wasn't too bad. 2 epidurals, 6 hours and 45 minutes of pushing late, Anthony Michael Torres Jr. was born weighing in at 7lbs 15oz and 18 3/4 inches. Now, when my due date passed, i thought this is IT. Im going to give birth to a slimey, weak YET well nutritioned 7 year old. Anyway, It was September 7 and I was completely OVER pregnancy, I wanted to be able to brush my teeth without my gums bleeding, I wanted to be able to tie my shoes, and most importantly I wanted my pooping schedule to get back on track. So I drank wine, nothing. Ran, nothing. Had sex, nothing. Drank castor oil, nothing. How freaking discouraging, old wives tales didnt work for me. But as I layed my head to bed, I woke up a little bit more excited and cherished my family a little bit more. Here's why. My grandmother passed away when I was 6 months pregnant, she was SO excited that I was having a little boy, due to the superfluous amount of girls in our family lol. But sadly, she passed away May 2, 2009. BUT on September 7, 2009, she came to me in a dream, saying that she was SO excited that he will be here soon, she has already met him and he was perfect in every single way, and I am going to love him and have so much fun with him growing up and she will be there every step of the way. She told me to be patient and stop listening to old wives tales and just enjoy the rest and silence for now, because he will arrive to the Earth on September 10 around 10am. And on September 10th at 9:59am. That was the best thing that has EVER happened to me. I am just so grateful that she came to me, and told me that everything was okay. Knowing that she was there with me, and is STILL here with me every step of the way is a feeling I could never describe. My grandma was a model Christian and a wonderful, caring person. Everytime I let something get to me, and I want to let my mouth fire off like a loaded pistol, I think about what g-bea would do. Anyway, Like I said I am NOT one to show emotions, but there ya go, im getting a little misty-eyed typing this.

Getting pregnant for the second time was a gift from God that got taken away. We weren't trying for the second one either, but it happened. At first I was shocked and speechless and I just wasnt expecting it at all. So I didnt know how to feel. But about 48 hours later, I was on top of the world. I was about to add another child to the mix and Chunk was gonna be a big brother and life could not get ANY better. Well about a week and a half later, I started bleeding, bad. Freaking out we take chunk to our neighbors/best friends and we rush to the ER. While I think that my situation was an emergency, I guess a headache and a cut on someones leg was a little bit more important. As were sitting there dreading terrible news and HOPING for the best. We left things in God's hands, and whatever he chose, we were going to have to be content. Well the doctor came in and did an ultra sound and he said hmm, nothings there. I bust out in tears. The doctors leave the room, and I am a mess. I felt like thee worst person on Earth. Why me? Why do I, a GREAT mother, have to experience something like this, yet 14 year old girls who smoke and drink their entire pregnancy get to have healthy babies. It was just not fair. I cried for the next 2 days, I didnt even want to get out of bed, I felt like I couldnt look the world in the face, because I looked weak and not my usual tough self. I took a break from facebook (which is UNHEARD of lol).  Me and tony had our time to ourself thanks to his job giving him the day off. I felt like i let my whole family and friends down. But I mainly felt like less of a woman because of it. I knew my babymake wasnt broken because Chunk is healthy as a horse. I just wish I knew why it happened. But its not my place to know. The big man upstairs is taking care of us. Im still not over the loss, but the loving and caring words from family and friends have helped a tremendous amount. It just seems as if I take my mind off of it, something is there to remind me of it. I dont think ill be 100% over this until I get pregnant again. Which we are not planning for, but you know how those things go ;).

Well Tony is at an Evening Watch on Pearl Harbor, Chunky is napping and I am watching the biggest loser. Gonna make some dinner, wake the little guy up and snuggle his brains out :) Thanks for listening and i will be sure to keep up with this. Its a good way to show people my softer side. BUT still know, that I will be posting the ridiculous things my child gets into and my vulgarity will still be accounted for!! Love you guys :)